Personal, yet Polite.

When asking personal questions, it’s important to do so politely, to avoid sounding rude. Fortunately, there are many ways to soften our questions in English. Below are some examples of how to make questions less direct and, as a result, more polite:

• Pardon me, could you tell me…

• Would it be okay if I asked…

• Do you mind if I ask…

• May I ask… 

• If you’re comfortable sharing…

• If you don’t mind me asking…

If someone asks you a question you’d rather not answer, here are some polite ways to refuse:

• I’d prefer not to answer that.

• I’d rather not say.

• I’m afraid that’s a bit personal.

• I’d prefer to keep that private.

• I think I’ll pass on answering that.

You can also follow these refusal phrases with:

• If you don’t mind.

• If that’s ok with you.

• If that’s alright with you.

Which adds an extra level of politeness.

Being aware of how we ask personal questions can make conversations more comfortable for everyone involved. By softening our questions and being prepared to accept a polite refusal, we show that we value the other person’s boundaries and comfort. In the end, respectful communication strengthens relationships and makes for better conversations.